Groups of Parents, Gangs of Kids

January, 2000
Last fall a young man was beaten to death in North York by a group-possibly a gang-of other adolescents. The tragedy elicited a significant outcry from the public and a heated search for the attackers. There was also a recent article in the Toronto Star concerning the 1998 conference on gangs, asking why not one of the recommendations from that conference had been implemented. We adults continue to be surprised by the 'herd' mentality that can affect young people in groups, inciting them to commit crimes and to display behaviours they would never attempt on their own. Yet why, if we abhor this behaviour, are we doing nothing about it?

One reason we're not doing anything is because we're inclined to believe that gangs are born out of poverty. We tend to see gangs as an antidote to disenfranchised young men who are alone, unsupported, and without an adequate self-image because of their socio-economic position. We're more comfortable believing that it's the "poor kids" who need gangs to replace the support, relationships, affiliations, protection, and care that are missing from their families. We also prefer to believe it's someone else's problem and that "it can't happen here".

But now middle class kids-boys and girls-are joining in on gang types of activity (swarming, possies) if not becoming formal gang members. Why our kids? They aren't poor. They have supportive families, activities, rituals, even scholarship funds. We feel we've protected them adequately in our middle class homes. Yes, we've given our kids everything. But have we really?
Every day in our work with high school kids, we see more and more examples of teens in need of basic parental leadership. Our kids often don't have the mature leaders they need to help them to accept responsibility and make improvements in their own behaviour. Many parents also believe that befriending their kids and making their lives free from all adversity will make them happy and prevent bad behaviour. Nothing could be more wrong.

Today's adolescents can't count on one standard of behaviour that has been consistently modelled for them by adults. As an anxious, leaderless group, they may attack each other in order to feel in control. Then our kids drift into gangs because they feel they have no choice, that they need protection from each other. Many groups move gradually into serious crime and violence. They don't recognize the impact their group behaviour will have on their own chances in life until it's too late.

What makes a gang so attractive is that it provides a code of behaviour, a value system, direction, and advice that may be missing in the home. Gang involvement also provides excitement-and probably drugs and alcohol. (Research suggests that much of the group connection is based on acquiring and using drugs, and this drug activity is centred in and around our schools.) Membership and allegiance can also give teens a feeling of omnipotence, a feeling that they can do whatever they want and escape the consequences.

Being in a gang also provides status, protection, membership, guaranteed friends, activities, structure, mentors, excitement, brushes with death and the law, leadership opportunities, outlets for frustration, and power. Teens are further attracted to gang leaders because they appear to be powerful and in control. Kids who can't keep up socially, academically or physically become vulnerable to social rejection, school failure and victimization. Many gang members may have joined simply to avoid being victimised. However, once they are full-fledged members, they can lose themselves and their moral direction in the process of belonging to and sustaining the gang.

Well-organized gangs create their own culture as they intentionally begin to separate from other cultures, i.e. the family. They indoctrinate, train, and convince members to work toward the group's goals. Members' thinking can become distorted. Independent thought and problem solving are often discouraged because independent thinking erodes the foundation of the group.

What diminishes the power of gangs? Anything that interferes with recruitment. If bored, confused, fearful adolescents are not available, gangs can't be formed and sustained. Parents can reduce the power of gang recruitment by informing themselves of the signs of gang membership. The signs are unmistakable: graffiti on books and clothes; bandannas, scarves and emblems that are worn constantly; code words, handshakes and hand signals; or a sudden change in friends.

Parents can create their own intelligence network to share information and check out the movement and alibis of teens. Parent Watch is one of many support groups that help parents build their networks. Parents and police can gather and act on information leading to identifying gang leaders and, if appropriate, to their arrest and prosecution. Adults working in concert toward the clear goal of diminishing gang activity can be very successful. Perhaps the single most important factor in preventing or suppressing gangs is the involvement of parents. Adolescents need clear rules and guidelines, something only a parent can provide.

Participation in gang types of activity needs to be responded to clearly, thoughtfully and consistently. There have to be sanctions for intimidation, threats, and membership in groups that commit crime. Police involvement can help bring and end to teen gang activity, and provide an opportunity for parents to take charge and help their adolescent develop a life plan with a clear path to acquiring adult skills and privileges. Sometimes getting caught can be a relief and a way of getting lives back on track.

For the gang member starting over, there must be a school environment that provides safety and a supportive community that wants to eradicate teen violence. There is excellent information available for identifying gang activity, and well-trained and informed police ready to assist parents in banishing gang activity from their communities. Parents, police, school administrators, and social workers can create environments that diminish the attractiveness of gang activity. A good place to start could be your local Parent Watch group.

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