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| Parents discover many things at Parent Watch, about their teens, themselves, and what sort of home they want. The following are presented to show what sort of solutions have worked for some parents. No drastic solution should be attempted without professional advice and guidance. Please take from these cases hope that your situation is not hopeless, and that you are not alone. |
The Situation A young girl was staying out until all hours and would not tell her mother where she was. The mother didn't suspect illegal activities or drugs, but was concerned about her daughter's safety. What Was Tried Grounding, withholding allowance, discussion & reason, and confrontation were all tried with no result. Suggested Action The mother reasoned that, as a bank teller, she required two pieces of ID before giving money to anyone she didn't know. She told her daughter that she could continue to stay out, but only if she saw two pieces of ID from whomever she was going with. Outcome The girl and her friends had no objection to providing ID
as it didn't affect their plans. This triggered a series of positive
changes in the girl's behaviour. The Situation A teenage boy was out of control. He was aggressive, had even threatened his mother with a knife, and was stealing from the home. His mother was afraid to do anything because of the boy's size. What Was Tried Police took him out of school because of threats he had made. They gave him three hours to decide whether he would "shape up" or be evicted from the house. He chose to go back home but had to be forcibly removed only ½ hour later. He was allowed back after one month away, but there was no change in his behaviour. Again he as asked to leave. He came back after 4 months and lasted only two days. Suggested Action The parents were advised to stick to their guns for a full six months-the recommended period of time as it usually takes this long for a teenager to burn all his bridges. Outcome The boy returned home after six months and his behaviour was much improved. |
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© 1999 Lifecycle Counselling |
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